1) Discordant guitars in place of someone complaining in my ear every twelve minutes
2) All of those books you read did nothing
3) The lonesome death of an elderly person to think about
4) A series of empty sexual experiences in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s
5) I’ll only smash them inside my head
6) He carries weapons around with him. In his jacket, in his car, in his closet
7) Pussies and chicks liked The Beatles, dudes who loved eating pussy and knew all women were evil and lied liked the Rolling Stones. I liked both, and The Who.
8) That fat blonde kid Mike pouring out of his denim jacket with the fur lining. He sold us joints and apparently got really fat and ended up dying early
9) The motel room where every woman ever lies to your face and you fall for it
10) His life consisted of going to a building fifteen miles from his house every weekday. A large building filled with people we barely talked to. At the beginning of the day he had to type a series of words. At the end of the day he did the same thing. When he came home at night he thought about how he would deal with his duties the following day.
11) The news hit the town that a new pancake house would be opening. Ted called his friend down the road, Michael. Michael’s wife answered the phone, Ted hung up. “That fat whore” he thought.
12) Take the sword that you already have and enter a bingo hall/bean supper/buffet restaurant on a Friday night. Find every person named Irene you can. Equip all of the Irenes with swords. Destroy every single human being in sight and then make your way outside where the Irenes and you continue your massacre of everyone ever.
13) We made our way into the Tina Turner concert so fucked up on cocaine.
14) I was in Waynesboro, Virgina in 1998 and a woman with a dream catcher tattoo on her leg said to me “I can tell you anything you want to know about the mountains and how they watch us”
15) A young man gets into a fight outside of a 7-11 and gets hit in the face with a bottle of Snapple diet raspberry iced tea.
16) Ray Manzerak flavored popsicles
17) All fucked up on whiskey and Fresca, I soaked the rolled up copy of the February issue of Cat Fancy in gasoline and put it in the gas tank of my enemy’s minivan.
18) After dinner I would skateboard down to the train station after noticing some long haired kids hanging out there. My house was on a street that ran parallel with the train tracks so you could either walk down the train tracks or skateboard down to where the station was. The train station was a typical small building that was presumably closed for fifty years. Dusty windows offered a look into what was once a fully operational train station. It almost looked as if it was just abandoned at one point and now people were to figure out how to get on the train themselves.
19) When people who love Stevie Nicks attack
20) Black Sabbath – The Mob Rules
21) She got so angry at him that she cried in his Diet Sprite before bringing it into the living room for him
22) We used to call cigarettes sprayed with Lysol “Mexican Candy Canes”
23) For Christmas this year, Elizabeth ate a plate of lasagna someone from the office gave her, took three Xanax and watched half an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond (the one where Marie crashes Debra’s Tupperware party).
24) One time, I ran over this kid’s ankle with my car.
25) If I remember correctly we would even put Polo on between our legs just in case we hooked up at the dance at the YMCA. One time, this piece of shit Greek kid punched me in the stomach in front of the girl I liked. His family was on welfare and he was adopted so I won at life anyway.
26) On the way to the Foreigner show Doug fingered Terri in the back seat. On the way home they pulled to the side of the road and brutally murdered her with their rough hands. Kevin grabbed her Marlboro Lights.
27) I was so petrified to go out in the hallway. At the end of the hall near that big vase was a little moon floating. It would just sit there at the end of the hall at night and spin around.
28) “Oh cool, Art Garfunkel just showed up and he has so much fucking cocaine on him”
29) I imagine what it would have been like to grow up far away from the ocean. Far away from punk rock and skateboards and Fugazi records and clove cigarettes.
30) This place, they all need some sort of an escape method; alcohol, drugs, constant television so they don’t have to talk to each other
31) Gliding through unfamiliar cities at night. Crystal clean windshield so everything sparkles. This deafening silence outside that surrounds the car is like an orange tinted ghost that has no shape. It envelopes the car in a soothing way and if you go too fast you miss everything good. Bright white moon colored strips of light on the river. A man you’ll never meet walking alone, a park bench with a burst of orange hovering above it. Then buildings taller than you are they swallow you whole. Tunnels and overpasses bring you to another area of the city or to a place outside you will never see again. Traveling like this, quick fast and in a hurry is a good way to see everything in slow motion, even while you move fast
32) When we don’t think we are then we don’t think we are when.
33) The sexual history of your father
34) I sat in that chair for thirty five years, I’m not going back
35) She would lie to her brother just to get to his best friend Kevin. One night she sucked Kevin’s dick behind a strip mall. He killed himself a week later.
36) In New Mexico that one time
